My family has always been the sweetest. I believe that I am the luckiest girl in my village to be born as a female child. I never had to face any discrimination being a daughter. I always got extra care, extra love, and extra stuff. I had two lovely brothers who grew me up like those butterflies in my garden. They never thought of hurting me. I was a little angel of everyone in the family. My dad was in the Army, with all his earnings we all were sent to the Boarding School since Nursery. No one from my village got this opportunity. Though we belonged to the lower caste backgrou+nd and were a middle-class family, my dad always wanted a better education for all of us. He wanted to provide all the great opportunities that he didn’t get to the three of us. Going to a boarding school was a big thing in those days. Rich kids were most likely to go to private schools. But my parents let us experience as much as they could afford. I remember my mother buying Rampam, JoJo, and CTC chauchau for my tiffin. We never had to be shy in front of my friends because of not having a fancy tiffin, a new school uniform every year, black shoes, picnics, and tours.

When I was little I loved going to school. I grew up and was in 4th grade since then school was not a comfort zone for me. Science and Maths were hard and teachers were scary to me. I was afraid to ask questions I didn’t understand. I didn’t want to go to school if I didn’t do homework. I had been to the same school for 8 years. I could easily get pass marks in my exams though. I had less interest in my study because of the school environment because of those scary eyes, loud voice, and physical punishment. I thought we go to school to get good marks so that we get a good job and a good salary. But I had no idea what my interest was and what I want to be in the future. Even my dad was spending most of his earnings on my education. He put in all his effort. I was even was forced to study sometimes. Studying became a burden to me at some point in my life. I did not enjoy my days at school in class and hangouts with friends. Sometimes I used to make excuses not to go to school by saying that I have had a headache, I have stomach pain or I have very bad diarrhea. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. My every day became stressful just to manage my normal days.

For me, the school had never been a comfort zone where I could learn and grow emotionally until I joined Kopila Valley School. There were a lot of underprivileged students at Kopila Valley. Awareness of the wrongs of discrimination and exploitation existed there. The learning environment didn’t allow for discrimination or even micro-aggressions. Every day we ate lunch together in the same cafeteria. Then I was able to make good friends. Kopila valley educated and allowed growth to many children in our community. There was incredible value in this.

The bond of love that we share for each other and care was very special. Teachers never hit us for asking questions, no angry faces, no big eyes instead they had smiley faces and loving eyes for students. They were all trained in a way to make school a better place for everyone where we can get a better education and be able to dream big. I realized that a good school is a comfort zone and a space safe for each child. There were also volunteers coming from different parts of the world. They came to teach us, spend time with us and help us to become a better human. Learning to speak in fluent English was one of my and my dad’s dream. I used to talk to them, introduce myself and go for a walk with them and speak in English so that I improve my English.

Kopila Valley School has taught me so much besides our course book and has motivated me to put in work to change our society. Classes similar to the Civil Rights workshop inspired me to get connected with the municipality and engage with the clubs in my community. I helped with organizing community-building programs hosted by the municipality and got involved in the community finance organization. Now we have our own community well, which is open for everyone, indiscriminately.

Then I met with Word Warriors in 2013. They came to organize ‘Slamming in Surkhet 2013’, a poetry slam. There is another very interesting story about my journey to the Word Warriors. Finally, I was selected to participate in the poetry slam. I shared my very personal stories through my poems in the English language. I shared with everyone that I take 10 pills every day because I suffer from a chronic disease called Lupus, about my wishes and dreams and my thoughts on something. I loved using those sensory details and giving my feelings and thoughts a proper shape in writing.

I studied Science taking Biology as a major subject in High School but after spending those two years in school I never found science interesting for me. I always struggle in the science stream in class and during my exams. In those two years, I found that Science is not my thing to do and I don’t want to be a doctor for sure.

Poetry came into my life again. I got an opportunity to participate in spoken word poetry instructor training. After the training, I went on a trip with Word Warriors in Nepalgunj. This was my first ever trip with the team. I got to work with the girls from 5 rural districts. Then I again went for a Book Bus trip to Dhangadi to organize a Kailali Poetry Slam 2017. Those two trips totally changed me and brought me out of my confusion zone. When I passed through hard times regarding my health, I thought of becoming a doctor. But, with the passing of time we get more mature, we understand more and we might be interested in other stuff as well. It gave me a clear idea of what I am interested in. Coming up with our own real stories and sharing them with people in the form of poetry was the best platform for me ever. I enjoyed performing my written work on the stage. Sharing with people lightened the burden in my heart. I feel relieved when I put my feelings on a piece of paper. Now, with all these realities that I have been passing through, I want to speak up about these realities, share my stories and let the whole world hear my voice. Then I finally decided that I want to be a poet and pursue my bachelor’s degree in Arts and know more about writing elements.

To my dad, when he hears my English poems, he doesn’t understand the language, but he can feel my emotions. He is proud of me and he shows it through the sacrifices that he makes. I really enjoyed doing other things rather than science. Yes, I am a poet and I am proud!!