Some people know what it’s like,
to suffer from chronic illness SLE Systemic Lupus Erythematosus at the age of 15
to take different types of medicine more than my meal
to take them starting from before my morning tea until before I fall asleep
to fall asleep with my swollen body
to carry my puffy cheeks flecked with a butterfly rash
to write my homework with my cracked hands
to walk up to the school with my thin cracked legs
to eat lunch avoiding fluid dripped from my mouth
to make my every move limited
not fit into clothes I wanted to wear
to be very careful of what I ate and what I drank
to feel my bones being too weak for carrying things
to wait for my parents or friends to carry my bag to the school and pick me up
to have a natural rose over my cheeks, a butterfly rash
to wait to get bullied
to go to multiple hospitals at multiple places
to wait for doctors to take pictures of me
to go to the traditional doctors ‘Jhakari’ as well
to offer chickens for the sake of god
to run out of money in someone else’s country
to eat rice and milk in the plastic
to eat through a tube connected to an injection, only liquid
to run hundreds of blood tests and urine tests
to be hospitalised for months and months at different hospitals
to hear It’s very sad for you to get this disease at such a young age
not to have the strength to accept myself
to go into depression few times on the same years
to lose hope
to wait for death
and other people don’t.
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